Scared is an understatement. You don’t feel ready. How can you afford a baby? Aren’t you too young for this? This isn’t how you thought it would happen.
You’re going to be a father.
Has life dealt you a hand of cards that you don’t feel you can handle? Here’s our expert advice for guys on how to deal with unplanned pregnancy.
How To Deal with an Unplanned Pregnancy
1. Just Breathe
No matter how overwhelmed you may feel, reflect on the truth that you aren’t the first one to go through this, and you won’t be the last.
There are others who have been given this challenge just as you have, and there is wisdom, advice and help available for you. Take a deep breath.
You are not alone.
2. Choose Your Perspective
How will you decide to deal with the unplanned pregnancy you are now faced with?
Will you choose to fix your thoughts on fear, guilt, worry and anger? Will you choose to focus on all the ways you may feel you could fall short? All the things that could go wrong?
Or – will you step into this new challenge, unearthing a hidden confidence you may not have known you could have?
While we can never be sure of which twists and turns life may serve us on any particular day, what we can be sure of is this one thing:
“What ever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” — Napoleon Hill
The truth of the matter is that with any challenge we are dealt, including unplanned pregnancy, the perspective we choose will determine how our lives are shaped in the days, months and years that follow.
Choosing to consider the idea that you could grow into the role of a strong, loving and supportive father, even if it’s not what you had planned or expected, is one strong step forward in dealing with an unplanned pregnancy as a male.
3. You’re Not the Only One Going Through This
Pregnancy always involves two people; not one.
On the other side of the phone, of the couch, or the room, there is someone else who is feeling just as confused, scared and unsure as you are.
In figuring out how to deal with unplanned pregnancy as a male, it’s important to remember that there are two of you involved.
Choose to work as a team, and to approach the conversations you will be having with a “stronger together” mindset.
4. Get Support
Do you have a family member, teacher, coach or friend that you look up to, trust and can talk to?
In life’s biggest decisions, it’s easy to let our emotions cloud our judgement and stop us from being able to see things clearly or make decisions with a cool head.
Reach out to connect with someone you know and can lean on in this time. Ask them when they’d have time for a phone call, a visit or a coffee.
At Pregnancy Care Centre, our team of counsellors will sit with you, listen to how you are feeling, provide you with helpful information on each of your options, and support you through the entire process.
If you want to talk, make an appointment for a free counselling session.
5. Get Informed
One of the biggest tragedies of unplanned pregnancy is simply that the entire picture, or correct information on each option, isn’t always presented.
Take time to research each option, and try to seek out answers from different websites, books or sources.
It is important to understand that unplanned pregnancy is a very sensitive subject in that different sources may sometimes present information very differently.
Do your very best to seek out the most accurate, unbiased information you can.
When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, your 3 options are:
Our experienced team of caring and experienced unplanned pregnancy would truly love the opportunity to sit down with you and educate you about the options you have when facing an unplanned pregnancy. Connect with us here.
6. Make a List
Sit down and write out a list of the pros and cons for each of your 3 options (parenting, adoption and abortion).
Picture yourself living out a day in your life, considering you’ve chosen each of the 3 options.
How will you feel?
What emotional effects will each option hold for each of you?
What does your life look like?
What are the possible risks of each option?
Do this exercise first alone, and ask the girl or woman involved to do the same thing.
Decide on your own feelings and answers to each scenario, then come together and share your answers.
When you come in to connect with one of our team members, this is one the steps that our unplanned pregnancy counsellors will walk through with you.
7. Find a Place to Think
Seek out a quiet, private place like your bedroom, your favourite cafe or head out for a drive.
Play some of your favourite relaxing music.
Even if you aren’t a writer, journalling or just getting all of your feelings or questions on to paper may really help to clear your mind.
You may feel excited, confused, upset, or unsure.
If you feel that you need to cry, don’t feel ashamed.
All of these emotions are natural.
8. Decide Together
Choosing how your life continues when faced with an unplanned pregnancy is a very big decision, and it shouldn’t be made alone.
The biggest regret we hear when connecting with those facing unplanned pregnancy is that they wish they hadn’t rushed the decision, so take your time.
Sometimes, life’s biggest, brightest miracles don’t appear to be a gift at first.
Realize your life will never be the same… but there’s a chance it could be better.
Unplanned Pregnancy Counselling
Pregnancy Care Centre offers education, counselling and support for women and their partners facing unplanned pregnancy in Edmonton, Alberta.